I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
