Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We got so high we made milksteak
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How external is "for external use only"?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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