i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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