dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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