it hurts more in the daytime
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
