youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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