By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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