Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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