Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
