I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
