Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
