meet me or not, i'm out of control
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
