I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
