sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
