Non-Jews are for practice
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
