I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
