Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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