I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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