It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
