We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
