So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
