i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
