I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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