Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
