im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
