didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
