I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
