went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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