Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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