Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I still have a little drunk in my system
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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