Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
how does that bad decision feel?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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