I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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