Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
