Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
