We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
