I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
