I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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