i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
