i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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