fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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