what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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