break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
