he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
