Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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