look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
