Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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