Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
