ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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