I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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