I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
