so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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