I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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