God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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