Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
