nut hugger
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
