Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
