No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
