$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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